“To say goodbye.”
The driver didn’t say any more.
The taxi stopped in the north end,at a house I knew intimately.I got out.The driver,still stopped by the side of the road,wasn’t in a hurry to leave.I think he must have wanted to tell me something.At last,though,he just started the engine.The taxi slowly glided into the night.
I knocked on the door.The dull thuds sounded like the beating of a lonely heart.
The door opened with a creak.The robot’s face revealed itself.Facial features had been carved on its black face guard.The childish scratches formed a weird smile.
The robot came out and took my suitcase.“Miss,you’ve returned.”
I looked inside.The house was a black cavity.“Is she here?”
“Yes,she’s home.She’s been waiting for you for a long time.Why don’t we go in?”
I hesitated.I stood at the door.Below my feet,it was as if a deep trench had split open.A great and frozen wind blew down that vast gap.I had no way to cross it.I simply sat down.The woman inside the house,who was also sitting,opened her eyes,as though she was looking back at me.
She was my mother.Or,rather,she was once my mother.
The first seventeen years of my life,I spent at her side.In my memory,this little house will always be cold and damp,like the years I can’t bear.The place always carried the faint smell of rot and the young me hated it.After I escaped,though,not a night went by that I didn’t secretly long for this house.
I was born in the final age of Earth’s exhaustion.No one felt secure.When I was small,I saw too many pallid faces grow alarmed and bewildered,but I didn’t know why.Until I was five,I roamed the world with my parents.Or rather,we were fugitives.
Then the once colossal Alliance crumbled.We settled down with lots of robots to help with the housework.But not long after,my father,lying in bed,swallowed his last breath.I remember his eyes,withered and cloudy,staring forever at her and me.Deep grief was buried in those eyes.
After my father died,she became frail and stubborn.She wouldn’t let me out of the house.She wouldn’t let me have any contact with boys.If I defied her,she didn’t hit me or yell at me.She just kept staring at me,her dark eyes shining like a wolf’s.
So I stayed by her side.Time flowed like water.It washed over me until I was clear and slender.However,it wore her down until her face grew ashen and wrinkled.Did time retaliate against her on my behalf I’ve never dared to imagine.
I let go of a silent breath.A fierce wind screamed under the cover of night.The town let out a loud and lonely cry.Yes,the town was also lonely.One after another,people emigrated.The center of town was deserted,like a great beast that has lost its heart,lamenting without end.
“Miss,let’s go in.”The robot had waited a long time before finally speaking.Its voice was as flat as ever.This time,though,I seemed to hear an imploring tone in its voice.
But I shook my head.If she didn’t open her mouth,I wouldn’t go in.She and I were two sheafs of wheat in a wheat field,leaning against each other,but always pushing against each other too.We could never hug.
When I was seventeen,I decided to leave.
That summer,I had worked everywhere in town.I carefully saved every cent.After that muggy summer,I already had enough money for a bus ticket.As far as I was concerned,all I needed was a bus ticket and I could lead my own vagrant life.
So,that September,I told her,“Ma,I’m going to buy a book.”
“Hm,”she said in the dark.
I turned to the door,and just like that,I left home.The moment I bought my bus ticket,tears filled my face.Soundlessly,I sobbed.
And she waited for me to return.It took exactly seven years.
In those seven years,I traveled to many places.I saw warm sunshine and was drenched in dark rain.I never stopped moving.Until I met him.
It was on a main street in the south.He stood on a platform simultaneously passing out leaflets to passersby and,in a loud voice,extolling the virtues of the interstellar immigration policy.The instant he gave me a leaflet,I saw his beautiful eyes.Furrows wrinkled his brow.His gaze,clear like spring water,flowed past the seething sunlight and crowd,surmounted the air,then flowed into mine.
And just like that,I was lost.
The man always liked to hold my face in his large palms,nuzzle my forehead with his nose then tease me like a small animal.I never refused him.Later,when he wanted to take me away from Earth,I still didn’t refuse him.
He said,“We’ll settle down in the Pegasus star system.There’s already a terraformed planet.The atmosphere is as fresh as your breath.Six satellites orbit the planet.When you walk outside at night,six shadows spread out beneath your feet.”
I said,“Fine.”
My only request was to return to see her,to say goodbye.
But,now,I hesitated at the door.It was a chilly night but I didn’t dare go in.
The person in the room and I exchanged gazes.After I don’t know how long,I stood.“LW31,give me my suitcase.I want to leave.”
“Miss,you really don’t want to visit her?”The robot said,hurriedly.“She’s missed you so much these past few years.”
I nodded.I’d also missed her.Instead of sending a message,if I had a chance,I’d come back to visit again.
The robot stayed silent.Dew condensed on it,like tears weeping down its outer shell.
She still hadn’t come out and I decided I wouldn’t wait any longer.I took my suitcase,turned around,then left.Clouds floated across the sky.A strong wind howled past.
I knew she was in the back looking at me,but I never turned around.
“I know what happened next.”LW31 said.“The spaceship she rode on was hit by a meteorite.The ship’s cabin was damaged.All the crew and passengers suffocated to death.”
Mrs.Griffin didn’t say anything.A long while later,two thick tears fell down her face.They hit the photo frame.The display slowly faded to black.
“So,those who loved me,they’re all gone.”Mrs.Griffin put the photo frame back into her pocket.“I no longer have any meaning to my life.Tell me the way to kill myself.Let me die,please?”
“As you wish.The most suitable method is…electrocution.”
“Won’t that hurt?”
“Electrocution is the most beautiful way to commit suicide.It best preserves the original appearance of the corpse.In fact,if it’s done correctly,it doesn’t even leave any burn marks.In the moment of electrocution,you’ll feel a sharp pain then you’ll stop breathing and your heart will stop beating.The process is very quick.Practically no pain at all.”LW31 said earnestly.“But what you need to make sure of is this:the electric current must pass through the heart in order to cause death.No other way will do.But I can help you with this bit.I will use rubber tape to attach copper wire to your solar plexus.I guarantee the electrical current will pass through your heart.Moreover,I will use cotton balls moistened with salt water to lower your resistance.Mrs.Griffin,would you like to do this now?”
Mrs.Griffin nodded her head.
“Very well.I exist to serve you.”LW31 turned to look for copper wire,rubber tape,and cotton balls,but when he reached the door,he stopped.“Mrs.Griffin,before you are electrocuted,I want to give you a warning.You’re wrong about a few things.”
“What things?”
“You said everyone who ever loved you is dead,leaving your life friendless and wretched.”LW31’s back faced Mrs.Griffin.Its back was corroded by rust.Its voice was slow.“You’re wrong.There’s still one person,from start to finish,who has always loved you.”
“Who?”
LW31 turned around.In the light,the smile scratched on its black face guard seemed to move.It looked at Mrs.Griffin,its carved gaze infinitely soft.The electric transmission in its body buzzed.
After a long time,it said,“Me.”
Mrs.Griffin stared dumbfounded.
Events of her past fell thick like snowflakes.Gradually and clearly,she realized it was right.Throughout her long life,LW31 indeed had stuck with her from start to finish.When she was little,her mother was always ill.She couldn’t do any housework.LW31 took care of Mrs.Griffin in every possible way.It allowed her to grow up without any worries or cares.
Once when she was mischievous,she thought its black face guard was too forbidding,so she carved a smile on it.It didn’t get angry.It was peaceful and docile.After she grew up,LW31 always cleaned the house until it was spotless,cooked the meals,then stood quietly in the house,waiting for Mrs.Griffin to come home from work.After her daughter was born,it became even busier.It practically never had any free time.Once Mrs.Griffin grew old,it still took care of everything at home.It accompanied Mrs.Griffin sunbathing,told her jokes downloaded from the internet.
It could take care of a person all her life and,from start to finish,show every possible consideration without even a single complaint.If that wasn’t love,then what was?
Mrs.Griffin choked with sobs.She walked up then hugged LW31.Her hand touched LW31’s back.There,LW31’s outer casing was even rougher than Mrs.Griffin’s skin.
“I’m sorry.I’ve always taken you for granted.”
“Never mind,Mrs.Griffin.”LW31 still had that smiling expression.Its voice was tranquil like before.“Mrs.Griffin,your dinner is already cold.Would you like me to reheat it?”
“Yes.”Mrs.Griffin wiped away her tears,nodding her head.
The Hunger Tower
by Pan Haitian,Translated by Nick Stember
They saw the tower just as the suns were beginning to set.
Pure white and rising to a sharp point,it seemed to soar higher than even the darkly shadowed mountains in the distance.In the west-slanting light of the three suns,the tower stood out as a long,thin line of light against those gloomy mountains which clustered around on four sides.
Gazing reverently at this line,it was if they were looking up at hope itself,and not a single one of them had the thought they might die in this place.To get here they had walked for over two weeks without stopping to rest.Passing through the great desert,they had left behind a trail of those too weak to carry on,the sun-crazed.The beast had taken the choicest morsels,leaving who remained at the point of exhaustion.Starving,they were little better than walking corpses.
Two weeks ago,their vessel had crashed deep in the desert,killing half of the passengers on impact.The pilot was fortunate enough to have been killed on the spot,smashed into a shapeless meaty pulp.Fortunate,because had he lived,he would have most likely been subjected to unspeakable cruelties by the indignant survivors of the crash during the hopeless days which followed.
After climbing free of the bloody carnage of the wreckage,it was a long while before they had set aside the shock and hysteria of falling some 20,000 chi[about 6666 meters]from the sky like a lead weight.After grieving for the dead,and praising God’s benevolence for sparing their lives,almost as one the survivors raised up their heads to take in the boundless expanse of gobi[desert,wasteland]which surrounded them.Stones of varying sizes lay on the ground as far the eye could see,like skulls embedded in the glistening sand,reflecting back the brilliance of the three suns.
The survivors did not speak.Just because God had seen fit to send one half their number straight to His heavenly kingdom,did not necessarily mean he planned to let the other half live.The majority of the vessel’s crew had been killed in the crash,leaving the passengers to fend for themselves.A certain captain from a special forces unit soon emerged as natural leader.After inspecting the wreckage,the captain informed them that the communicator was finished,so there was no way for them to call for help and also no way to know their exact position.At best,they could hope for a rescue mission to arrive in three months,not counting the time it would take the rescue team to search the barren wasteland of this singularly enormous planet.
“Please search the wreckage for things that may be of use to us and share them with the group.If we are to be rescued,then we must band together in this time calamity,”said the captain.It comforted them all a little to look up at his ruggedly unyielding grey eyes,his muscular neck,his sturdy and well-defined chest.
The survivors began to enthusiastically search the vessel,even exploring the severely damaged fore cabin from which not a single man had escaped alive.Coming across that room,which looked like nothing less than a strawberry slurry spattered blender,the searchers found themselves afflicted with constant nightmares,vomiting even while dreaming.
Finding water was not a problem,as the twisted,gurgling pipes of the vessel were still leaking coolant.Despite tasting of motor oil,it was not poisonous.They were also able to find no small amount of food—local delicacies bought by tourists on the various planets they had visited.Still,despite the profusion of flavors,and no matter how tasty these snacks were,it was apparent that it would be impossible to sustain sixty people for three months on these meager rations alone.This was especially true since many of the survivors were so fat that it was all but guaranteed that they were gluttonous gourmands.
Eventually they found a battered and ancient-seeming map in the bag of pilgrim who had been killed in the crash.The captain spent half a day studying the map with a compass and slide rule,together three others:a surviving member of the boiler room crew,a chemistry professor who was on vacation,and the ship’s priest.They announced that they would be leading the group to a temporary shelter,the monastery of an infamous ascetic and a reclusive sect.This was the only sign of human life that was marked on the map.
It was not until after ten days of arduous walking that they finally caught sight of the monastery’s lone spire.Far in the distance,it gleamed like gold in the light of the setting suns.
In the dying light they began to run,setting off a dust storm which stuck to their calves.From withered lungs emerged hot,sticky breath,but not a single person spoke,their bodies erect,their heads bent,casting aside unnecessary bags,empty canteens,kicking off boots that had already come unstitched,running barefoot in the scalding sand.
They knew that a ferocious beast was following close behind.Every day,once the sun had set,it had appeared like clockwork to choose its victim from this band of ragged and weary travelers.In less than two weeks they had lost fourteen of their number,finding themselves helpless before its onslaught.
Equally helpless to predict who among their number the beast would take next,the only obvious conclusion that they could come to was that the odds of being chosen were the greatest for those who straggled the furthest behind.Only steps away from salvation,none among them was willing to take that unfortunate role.Racing against one another as they fled,then ran silently,their heads down,each of them spurred on by the fear of their neighbor.Even the young priest was no exception,despite the deep feeling of shame he felt,thinking of Darwin’s cruel law of survival as he ran.Since the law had first appeared,it had caused man and religion alike to suffer the greatest of humiliations.Now,though,they must run,because they must keep up if they are to survive.
When they had first set off,they had managed to stay organized.Some were responsible for wayfinding,others for taking care of the women,the children,the infirm,while still others took on the night watch.Despite finding themselves in dire peril,the entire party maintained an air of elegant refinement throughout,modestly deferring to one another,acting as if their arduous march was nothing more than a holiday hiking adventure with a bunch of backpack-wearing city slickers.This lasted until the beast appeared,and in the blink of an eye,the weak bonds civilized society suddenly snapped,order broke down,and to a man they reverted to their most basic of instincts.
That evening the young priest saw the boiler tender stomp two tents flat,and smack a fat woman to the ground;the chemistry professor,meanwhile,jumped into the fire,almost burning himself to a crisp;while somewhere in distance,the captain managed to fire two rounds at the beast,before it disappeared into the night;and the people hide all around,their holiday hike having been transformed into a disorderly and chaotic flight for their lives.
Truly,the beast was a terrible horror,a man-eating terror of a sort a rarely seen in this nebula.Devilishly fast,with hooked talons like glittering daggers,its trifurcated tail was like a mace or a flail,coming to three points.Even worse than its appearance,though,was the beast’s seemingly inbred hatred for mankind.Once it began an attack,there was no room for mercy—the beast would tear and chew until there was nothing left.
The only bright spot in all of this was that the beast knew well enough to choose the best portions.Taking first the most overweight of the group,who also happened to eat the most food and walk the slowest,the beast left behind the strongest and youngest of them,with sturdy bodies and steadfast wills.No longer requiring others to urge them on,the speed of the group increased greatly.
The captain ran in the middle of pack.Holding his laser gun tightly,his neck was ramrod straight,his breath slow,and his pace neither hurried nor leisurely—to separate from the group was dangerous.The captain was the first to notice a new sound emerging from the cacophony of footsteps,that of thickly padded feet drumming against the sand.An animal smell,warm and rank,like urine,filled the air.Turning,he saw the glistening fur of the beast,silhouetted against an alien moon,following their little group silently.The squashed face of the beast was covered in matted fur,which moved slightly in the wind,and a single eye,slating fiercely and nearly closed,silently assessed each member of the group in turn.Having arrived once again,the beast was methodically planning its attack,an attack they were helpless to resist.They felt as if they were its subjects and the beast their lord,looking down upon them with disgust,finding themselves shamed by its disregard for them.the captain thought bitterly as he clutched his useless laser gun.Sooner or later he’s gonna get us.
Finally they arrived at the tower,which was located in a narrow valley running up into the mountains.In the thick woods which filled the valley,a cluster of low huts were built around a public square.In the middle of the square there was a fountain which featured apagan goddess sitting on a lotus blossom throne.A mysterious smile of deep compassion and endless sorrow cut across her broad,moon-like face.Some of the men jumped into the fountain,while others fell to the ground and wept like children.Others were frozen in place,neither crying nor laughing.
Not a single hut was lit from the inside,and no smoke issued forth from their chimneys.No one emerged to welcome them,for the entire village was silent,without a soul around.They soon realized that this place was abandoned,and their hopes were dashed like a great soap bubble that has floated up too high in the sky.Sobbing,they spent the night huddled together in a confused mass.
When the dawn broke,three suns of differing colors rose into the sky,first the one the color of yellow-brown earth,filling the pass with brilliant golden light.Sometime later,the blue sun rose into the sky,the largest of the three,and finally,the cold carmine sun.They soon discovered that in the chaos of the previous night,another two of their number had disappeared,Seoni and Ami,a Lunarian couple.Thinking back on their freckled faces,the priest sighed to himself.
They drew water from the still flowing fountain.The short rest after their long trek had improved the spirits of the group,and they soon began to cautiously explore their surroundings.The forest was not large,nor was it especially dense,being made up entirely of trees indigenous to this planet:to their left,spiraling bracken fern trees formed an unbroken chain,their tops reaching up into the heavens.Needle-trees which split three ways from their roots swayed in the breeze,giving off a quiet shushing sound.In the face of this tranquil,garden-like scene,the remaining members of the group stood clumped in pairs,unwilling to explore the woods any further.
When it was almost noon,the captain gathered together other three leaders of the group:the chemistry professor,the boiler tender,and the priest.He led them into a low basement made of rough sandstone blocks.Probably once a wine cellar,the room was filled with a large number of empty bottles the former occupants had left behind.The once swarthy and robust captain sat squatting on the unstable floor of broken bottles,a blanket draped over his shoulders.His thickly stubbled face was cut with deep wrinkles,appearing withered and pale.He looked for all the world like a wilted vegetable that had been sucked dry of all its water.“We’ve already run out of food,”he said,revealing the terrible news to the others.“We don’t have one bit left.I searched the entire monastery this morning.Even though it’s obvious this place has been abandoned,just to make sure I went through each hut to in the hopes of finding some hidden food stores—but there’s nothing here.Nothing.”
The gathered leaders were all silent for a time.Their rescuers wouldn’t be here for another two and half months.The only choice,then,was to starve to death.In comparison to this threat,the beast was only a minor annoyance.
“If we could face the beast,then we would have faced the beast,”the captain said.“The laser guns are useless against it—I shot it right in the face,and he just shook his shoulders,as if I had attacked him with a water pistol.”As he was talking,he rubbed his nose in frustration.“But we can keep him out.I’ve surveyed the area.We are surrounded by high cliffs on all four sides.There is only one way in and one way out of valley—we could build a fence there.There are already plenty of tools in the village.”
“You’re right,our laser guns are useless,”the chemistry professor said wearily.Due to his slender build,his large,protruding ears were quite eye-catching.“I happened to read a short introduction for tourists who visit this planet.The planet is known for the astonishing number of crystals that have formed in the mica,and due to the principle of resonance,the planet is filled with ultrasonic noise.The creatures which have evolved here have an innate ability to make use of and control the vibration of other objects.You’ve seen the fur on the cat-beast’s head,right?It can use that fur to sense vibrations—and really,when you get right down to it,a laser is just a kind of vibration.Your attack probably made the beast uncomfortable,but there’s no way that it could have hurt him.”
“Vibrations?Are you saying that it really is impossible for us to beat it with guns?Well then,if it charges in here,and we can only fight the thing off with our fists,”the captain continued more fiercely now,“if that’s the case then,fine,so be it,let’s use our fists!”
“There’s a helluva lotta trees here,”the boiler tender said.“Maybe we can eat them?”Flat faced and stocky,a single canine emerging from his lips was the sole feature which broke the monotony of his dead fish mien.“Back in the village I’m from you’d hear stories of folks eating tree bark when they ran out of food.”
“No,”the professor said,dejectedly,as if announcing his own death sentence.“Like most space travelers,we face an intractable problem.The helix-type of the DNA of the alien plants is fundamentally different from the structure our own.Even if they aren’t poisonous,if we were to eat them then our bodies would have no way of breaking them down into proteins.”
“Well,our meat seems to be just fine for their wild beasts,”the captain said darkly.Turning to the priest,he said,“How about this,priest,we’ll put you in charge of looking for food.From the looks of things,it seems like the monks only meant to be gone for a short while.It just isn’t possible to imagine that they didn’t leave behind at least some food.”He twisted his mouth,and repeated himself,“It just isn’t possible.Probably you religious types have a different way of look at things,right?You all have faith in God,no?”
The priest protested that that was a different kind of faith.
In reply,the captain said,“I think that’s enough talking for now,priest.”
The reclusive sect belonged to an ancient religion that was on the verge of dying out.Their teachings claimed that if one set aside all desire,then one could become a Bodhisattva,flying up to heaven right on the spot.A monastic order from the Far East founded the religion eons ago,and it is said that they were capable of performing any number of miracles.For some reason,though,their spread had been limited to a few remote planets in the nebula.According to the introduction included on the battered map,this was a holy place for the members of the reclusive sect.
Having accepted his assignment to find food,the priest followed the valley up to its mouth.As the captain had said,aside from the jagged gap where they had entered,the valley was surrounded on four sides by steep cliffs.Water poured forth from narrow ravines,revealing a red sedimentary layer deep in the rocks.Standing miniscule in the middle of the valley,the priest thought to himself that these enormous,coldly silent walls of stone were like the curtains of heaven,leaving only a neat circle of sky above,as if they found themselves in the bottom of a well.
Just when the priest was trying to decide which direction in which to head in search of food,he saw the boiler tender running out of the woods with a group of people who had been sent there to cut timber.
This was the first time they had seen the bubble fish.Round and bulging,they refracted the light into prisms of color,swishing their tails in the air to move up and down.Swimming into the wind,they looked like frail soap bubbles,or colorful balloons for children.Delicate and beautiful,and seemingly harmless,they were little more than attractive house pets.Something,however,soon startled them away.
The transparent stomachs of the bubble fished vibrated to invisible frequencies,using the vibrations to absorb the energy of the suns.They were constantly taking in lighter or heavier air to maintain their altitude.Unyieldingly self-composed,their enormous eyes looked down upon the mess of hurried and shameless people below,and with a flick of their tails,the bubble fish moved even higher up into the sky until they were out of sight.
The captain had also gone out to explore.Along with several other young men,he appeared in camp dragging Seoni’s corpse.While running away the previous night,the Lunarian had broken his neck after falling into a ravine.In addition to Seoni,they managed to find a dried out wagon track that meandered off to parts unknown.The traces of the road had almost disappeared,indicating that it had been a long time since anyone had come this way.It really did seem that this monastery had long since been abandoned.
After the priest said a prayer for the dead man,they buried him in the woods.The bracken ferns spiraled around and around,filling the sky above them.The captain and the boiler tender stood holding their shovels,stationed like two broken stone obelisks on either side of the loose pile of red-brown soil beside the enormous grave.
They spent the rest of the day felling trees and building the fence.After shaping the tops of the heavy timber into sharp points,they planted them deep into the ground;they used the needle-trees to fashion a barbed net to stuff between the gaps;and behind every possible weak point in the fence they piled heavy stones to make it fast.Ignoring their hunger,they put their shoulders into the work and finally the grand project was complete,giving them what would ultimately prove to be a misplaced sense of security.